Simon Pegg Neutron Cream Public Service Announcement

Posted by Rezwan Razani on Sep 04, 2013 at 01:03 PM
What do you think about this? Let us know in the comments below!

Thanks to Simon Pegg for this timely PSA on the proper usage of Neutron Cream.

Part of the film Star Trek Into Darkness was shot at the National Ignition Facility (NIF), home of a major US Inertial Fusion project.  The NIF team has been making strides toward fusion iginition; with great news last month: a tripling of the neutron yield on August 13, 2013 (why neutrons? see sidebar). 

With all those extra neutrons flying about, you can imagine that JJ Abrams and crew were a bit nervous to be filming there.  Into the breach stepped Simon Pegg, who made sure everyone followed proper safety procedures, which involved the judicious application of Neutron CreamBS

It’s rich in antioxidants. 

Funny story.  It turns out that you don’t need to strategically dab on a few blobs of Neutron CreamBS and hop about to protect yourself from emissions at the NIF facility. 

Not that I was taken in for a moment.  I’m no Cumberpatch. 

Cumberpatch…sounds like cucumber patch. Hey! This reminds me of the “Thermocuclear” device in Jasper Fforde’s Fourth Bear.  What are the odds?

Neutron Cream FAQs

Neutron CreamBS is actually used to neutralize plutonium tea, a delicious brew enjoyed by physicists at the labs (Hormeisis brand).  They have been drinking this beverage for years to build up their resistance to Weapons Grade Plutonium. 

This tea brewing technique works for iocane powder as well.

Wait!  This just in. 

It turns out that the Neutron CreamBS doesn’t neutralize plutonium tea.  Nor do lab workers drink such a tea.  They prefer the higher toxicity of caffeine. 

(That last part is true.  They drink caffeine.  But more importantly - who knew?  Ingested plutonium is less toxic than caffeine.  So says Canon.  If you know otherwise, leave comments below.) 

Radiation PSA Pending

What a jumble of quasi-information! 

Clearly we could use a true nuclear energy PSA to shed light on our Radiation Superstitions. 

Film Folks, are you on board?  Consider this your call to action. 

OK.  “Call to Action.”  Check.  What comes after “call to action?”  Action?  NO.  Debate.

Yes.  The Film Folk who were exposed to this post (as if to ionizing radiation.  With no protective Neutron CreamBS!) are now (DAN DUN DAAAAH!) in the debate beat

This means we’ve got to vamp until the act break.  Thanks a lot Cat!

Speaking of “Calls to Action”, are you a member of the Fusion Energy League?  You’ve debated enough.  Join today.

Yes.  You.

Fukushima Radiation Perspective

Wondering what to put in a #RadiationSuperstition debunking PSA?  Excellent material available in this article by @Atomicrod, Update on “Highly Radioactive” Water Leaks at Fukushima
Includes information such as:

The latest media discovery was that the reading that was initially reported as 100 mSv/hour was really 1,800 mSv/hour because the detector that produced the 100 mSv/hour reading had a range that maxed out at 100 mSv/hour. What few, if any, media reports include is an explanation that the measured dose rate is nearly 100% beta radiation and that it was measured at a distance of just 70 micrometers from the radioactive material. Beta radiation can be shielded by a single sheet of paper and will only travel about 1-2 meters in dry air.

Someone needs to help journalists understand that there is no way that a beta-emitting radiation source can cause a deadly dose to a human being unless it is ingested in a concentrated form. Even if it is in direct contact, about the worst it can do is cause a skin burn; I would also not recommend using water contaminated with a beta emitter for eye wash. I suppose I have volunteered for that educational task.



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